Changes in Growing Up


If there is one thing I am not an advocate of, it is “change.” I don’t like it and, although probably the majority of people don’t root for change – usually there is something about the familiar that we hate to let go of, because of my personality, I’d prefer that things remain quiet and continue in the same vein. Unfortunately, my life is changing. Not in the drastic cannot-believe-I-am-doing-this kind of change mind you, but more the subtle kind of transition that comes with maturity. I’ve grown up. Growing up, I went through seasons of change – as hopefully we all do, and in retrospect, most of the time, those differences were not just "good" but changing me into a "better" person. Being where I am now, I have no desire to revert back to my teenage years but lately I have just been realizing what is shifting in my life and how that trend isn’t going to go backwards but rather forward. And with every passing year, that truth is becoming more a reality than fantasy.

When I was eighteen or nineteen, my mother, aunt, and a lovely lady who has been like a grandmother took me out for a birthday lunch, somehow the conversation turned to returning into the past to ones teenage years. I remember my mother asking me, “would you want to go back?” Na├»ve and self-doubting girl I was, I was like, “um… I don’t know.” Now I do. The answer: A resounding, “no!” I have no disappointments in how I was raised. My parents home-schooled me and I wouldn’t have had it any other way but I also have regrets about certain situations resulting from my attitude, and how I handled said situation that, today I’d have not taken lightly. Fortunately, they aren’t the sort of things that will be a “scar” for life, but that doesn’t mean I don’t sometimes ponder changing those moments.

I have been fortunate to have the most awesome parents ever (I might be just the tiniest bit biased). They are leading examples of not only who I want to become spiritually but also as people have been wonderful examples, and I have been – and still am very close to my parents. We are constantly giving each other a rough time about things (perhaps it is fair to say that is more my dad and I *wink*) and I am comfortable telling my mother anything. I know that if something is bothering me, they are there to listen. For that, I shall always be grateful and hope I never lose sight of that. Lately the realization that more likely than not, this special time with my parents is drawing to a close has been on my mind. I’ve reached the age where time suggests that sooner rather than later, I am going to be starting a new life that will someday include marriage, and will be a different – but equally as wonderful life. It isn’t something I ponder 24/7 but I’d be lying if I said I’ve not wondered about the kind of guy I am going to meet, fall in love with and marry – it just isn’t an obsession for me for which I am abundantly thankful.

Something new makes me nervous. Trepidation is a part of my make-up but happily my life has been and is a simple one – which is just how I like it. Most of us are likely too comfortable in our surroundings and scene to want things to be shaken up. At the risk of contradicting myself change does seem to come and go easily for me if I make up my mind that I am not going to let it take over or “ruin” my life. It might take me a while to fully “accept” change but adapting does seem to be something I can easily take because I make it a point to go with whatever life throws my way (within reason). As far as I am concerned, the day that change enters my life might not be my best, but life teaches us that... well, life happens. It rarely gives multiple-choice options or checks in with us via email; we are not usually given a choice of a, b or c. I am no longer a fourteen-year-old whose thought process is one of comfort in my parent’s home and that the life I will one day have when I have to actually think about managing finances or anything that pertains to run a house in all manners, is a “long way off.” Whatever life may bring us, it is always best to take it with the right attitude and above all, learn how to be ready for it. There are some great things yet to come. 
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Rissi
10 Comments

10 comments:

  1. *sighs* I never want to grow up. Ever. I want to stay young forever. ;) if only that were possible. ;)

    Good post!

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  2. I think we all go through a time period like that when we are young - life is "secure," and "simple." However, being where I am at now, I wouldn't want to revert back. When we are kids, sometimes all we can think about is growing up. Ah! The innocence of childhood. =)

    We'll all muddle through, I am sure. =)

    Love all your comments, Rachel! So glad you are making a "habit" of them. ;D

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  3. I think dealing with change is hard for all of us. I don't mind small changes -- like dying my hair, or altering the background on my blog, but big changes freak me out a bit.

    You're right, tho -- at some point, we decide we have no interest in going back. I don't want to be a teenager again. Yes, being an adult means bills and responsibilities and working, but it also means the freedom to go places and do things. Being an adult might stink sometimes, but it is also nice sometimes.

    Big changes are scary. But we don't have to be afraid. God has a plan for us. He holds us in the palm of His hand. It will be okay.

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  4. I sometimes feel like things change way too quickly for me, but it is so, so important to remember God's sovereignty in all of the change of our life. It is only for our good and His glory that we change!

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  5. Charity - small changes are always easiest to accept. You are correct. I love changing up colors or switching styles or anything of that nature but it is the "big" ones that always get to a person.

    As contradictory as this will sound, I seem to cope well because I know usually there is no other choice... after I've appropriately brooded about it, mind you. ;-) Being asked whether I'd go back and saying, "I don't know" was so not how I see it know. =D

    (Silly girl was I!)

    There is going to be bumps along the way but there is beauty in life... we just have to look a little harder for it. Change might be "scary" but it can also bring good.

    AnnaKate - me, too. Sometimes it sneaks up without us realizing it. We have to learn to adjust and "roll with it" so that it doesn't take over our life. I don't want to go back, and change can bring about such good... so long as we let it.

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  6. I don't like changes either. I had some New Year's resolutions for this year, which might change my life quite somewhat, and I find myself slow in fulfilling these....

    I agree with what you said about not wanting to go back. I also don't wish to go back to my teenage years. I do sometimes wish I could go back (just for a few days) to when I was in my primary school days, just to be able to play with my Barbies or Playmobil again!

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  7. Most people don't relish change - or that is my impression but sometimes, it is just what we have to deal with. It still doesn't make it easier though, does it? =)

    Wait... you mean we can't stillplay with Barbies!? ;D

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  8. I know what you mean. I don't want to go back to being younger, no matter how fun and carefree it was.

    Change and I aren't very good friends, but I have gotten more used to it happening - if that's even possible. :)

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  9. Sometimes I wish I had a little niece or children of friends who I could babysit so I could shamelessly play with the Barbies with them!

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  10. Lauren - really? Sometimes I do wonder if my prattling gets across a point. =)

    The childhood and even into teen years are carefree but I am happy where I am at now. True, being an adult means responsibilities but I was raised a lot differently than the world so I hope that my parent's influence will help guide my decisions (that and a maturing relationship with Christ).

    I know just what you mean; it sounds odd but even though I don't like change, I seem to be able to... roll with it. (After I've appropriately gotten worked up about it, mind you. ;D)

    Birdienl - yeah, that is always ideal, right!? I like to joke about having an excuse to watch Tangled. I baby-sit these three kids who go to my church and one night I asked if they wanted to watch a movie, thinking, "let's watch Tangled." Unfortunately, they weren't in the mood for any sort of movie. Still, I haven't watched it again! *sigh*

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